when the report card sucks

Why do some kids just stink at school?  My oldest..just isn’t interested.  Every day we come home from school and I become The Homework “B”…constantly repeating my words;
“Sit down!”
“Stop staring at the ceiling….”
“Hey!  Where are you?” He has left the building and is outside with my youngest!

Daily I go through the same vocal exercise.  While my middle girl is fine.  She comes home, sits, works, packs up.

What to do when grades stinkMy oldest is at the kitchen table or his desk in his room for an average of 5 hours…even on a day when he may only have 60 minutes of homework.

The husband blames me for not being harder on him.  I blame him for all the drugs he did before we got pregnant.  That was a joke.  My husband never, ever did drugs…but that would make the blame here all that easier wouldn’t it?

Some of his friends are on medication to help them focus.  I’m trying to ‘skip’ that.  Cause what if he (or I) really like them and then he can’t function in HS or college or his future job without them???

But all that put to the side….my kid has one thing going for him.  He’s kind.  A really good person.  And as much as they don’t give out scholarships for being nice, I’m hoping in the end…his life will be better because he’s master this skill.  (is it a skill?)

Here’s an example:  Last night my 7th grader went to my husband to get a check (money) to go on a once a year field trip to Disneyland with this Jr. High at his school…suddenly I hear him run upstairs and he came to me crying.  I was sure one of our other younger kids hit him or he fell on something.…and when I finally got it out of him what was wrong he says (though his tears and hard breathing), “I shouldn’t go…I feel so bad…I went down to ask Dad to write a check so I could go do something and Dad just writes it.  He didn’t pause or hesitate…without even thinking or example of teens being kindpausing….he just writes the check.  I don’t deserve it….it’s not fair to all the other kids who can never go to Disneyland….”

It’s one of those moments where as a parent I (who always has an answer for everything) was speechless.

My heart ached at what a thoughtful kid he is.  Recognizing this was a huge expense to our family as well as knowing, even though his grades aren’t that good, we still want him to enjoy wonderful memories with his class.  But he was thinking about others…and that is a rare find in a needy, all-about-me 13 year old.

Then I thought, “oh crap….he’s going to be a Democrat!!

But the bottom line is:  What ever he does….something was telling me, he gets the world….he’ll be fine.

I hope (I’m a mom…we worry)

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Laurie McDermott is a Travel Writer, Life & Bereavement Coach, Speaker at women events and conferences and posts regularly on Youtube.com. She also is a recurring guest on many radio & TV shows. Book her here!

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