Self-talk matters, so be kind to yourself. What you say to yourself does matter! If we say, “I suck….I suck at Math…”
You WILL suck. Because when you say it or think it, you believe it.
Let’s walk through an easier path….
It comes out of your mouth or out of your thoughts.
It goes back into your mind and your thoughts.
We as humans have an innate desire to want to be right. All the time.
So guess what? If you want/have to be right (cause you are a human)…and you flat out say or think that you are bad at something…well then…because you have to be right, you will be bad at whatever it is that you say!
A girl I work with had a hand drawn colorful photo of the words: “You suck” in her main book for work. I saw it over her shoulder and said, “What is that?”
She laughed and said, “Monica gave it to me…”
I said, “Why? Because she thinks you suck? More importantly, you’ve kept it?? Is that because you believe you suck??”
The girl laughed and I pulled it out saying, “Let’s replace that with I’m hot and sexy!” She laughed and the day went on.
Why would she keep those words so close to her? Aren’t there better words to describe yourself? I can think of 40 right this second.
Be careful what you say to yourself or speak about yourself.
I used to say I was great at tennis. I never took a lesson but I loved playing. And when I would go with my family, they would make fun of me saying I was not that great. But to me and my ability, I was indeed great at doing as well as I could. Did I say that in all it’s detail? Not really, but it didn’t matter. To me, I felt I was indeed great and that was all I need to know in order to pick up a racket, hold my own and have a great time!
If you say you aren’t good at something, you have an excuse for when you don’t succeed. “See? I told you I wasn’t good…”
Believe in yourself. Believe you can accomplish anything that you want to accomplish.
Now, will I be saying I’m good at skydiving or running or deep sea fishing. NOPE. Why? Cause I could care less about them. And I have no desire to be good at them.
Am I a great lover or person to have sex with? Sure. I believe it. Cause I like it. No, wait….I love it! So heck yeah, I’m good at it! And if someone else doesn’t agree…well then…I’m open to learning! Because I want to be good at it.
Yet, for something I’m not sure if I’ll be good at…as long as I believe I will be great at trying, I’m already there.