Dear Children, On Halloween, when you ask your future spouse to dress a five year old in a specific outfit, remind them to not get creative and do anything ‘outside’ what you have asked. Cause they just may spray paint that kid’s head with black hairspray and forget to tell you….meaning that the child spends the morning rolling all over so many cushions causing huge ‘head shaped’ black spots to appear in so many spots, you’ll just assume it’s some kind of joke. Later discovering that ‘No… your parent (i.e…’creative’ spouse) didn’t put down a blanket or towel or even inform the child that he should be careful, instead, he let him free….free to be five and roll, land or head butt cushions with a staining painted head. Please remind your spouse if such a disaster ever happens (and let’s assume it’s won’t) but if it does, please remind your spouse they have the absolute freedom NOT tell you and fix the problem themselves! Cause if they do nothing and leave their creation remnants at the front door in a huge pile telling you, “You need to clean this up…” Let them know you will not be happy. For days. Weeks maybe.
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